Expensive Abby: How do I inform children that I’m estranged from my household?


DEAR ABBY: I’m a girl who has been by way of loads. I grew up considering my grandmother was my mom, my mom was my sister, my uncle was my brother, and my very own siblings my nieces and nephews. A “household situation” introduced all of it out within the open, and now I’m estranged from my household.

My grandmother who adopted me handed away a number of years in the past. The problem was lies and the truth that I used to be molested, which is why my grandmother stepped in. How do I clarify to my youngsters, 6 and 9, that we don’t have household on my facet? They’ve been asking as a result of my husband could be very shut along with his circle of relatives. — ESTRANGED IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR ESTRANGED: Your loved ones state of affairs is sophisticated, and I don’t suppose it will be acceptable so that you can reveal the main points till your youngsters are fairly a bit extra mature. Lies, cover-ups and youngster molestation are legitimate causes to have distanced your self.

Within the meantime, inform them you’ll clarify when they’re older. In some unspecified time in the future they might want the data in case any of your family attempt to contact them sooner or later.

DEAR ABBY: I broke issues off with my ex-husband again in 2011. His dad handed away in 2013, and I’ve simply realized that his mom died two months in the past. I heard by way of the spouse of his buddy that he didn’t take it effectively, so I despatched him a sympathy card with my telephone quantity in case he wished to speak.

As we speak I discovered that he eats just one meal a day or simply has a kind of shakes. He insisted he’s superb, however I don’t suppose so. It seems like he’s nonetheless not dealing with it effectively. I’m anxious that he’s going to waste away.

We reside in the identical state however in two completely different cities. I nonetheless love him, and I’m attempting to assist him. How can I do this? — WORRIED EX IN OHIO

DEAR EX: Does your ex have family who reside nearer to him than you do? In that case, contact them and categorical your considerations so maybe they will test on him. Nonetheless, if he doesn’t, contemplate trying in on him your self. When you do, it might not solely ease your thoughts but additionally resuscitate your relationship, if he’s open to a reconciliation.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a 64-year-old girl. For as soon as in my life, my hair is lengthy, about elbow size. My son visits me about as soon as each three months as a result of he lives an hour’s drive away. As we speak when he arrived, the primary phrases out of his mouth have been, “You appear like a witch!” It made me really feel very unhappy. He then proceeded to inform me nobody over the age of 40 ought to put on lengthy hair. What do you suppose? I’ve at all times been neat and clear. — SAD MOM IN COLORADO

DEAR SAD MOM: I believe that at age 64, you’ll be able to put on your hair any manner you prefer it. Many ladies (and males) have allowed their hair to develop because the pandemic started, no matter age. (I occur to know an 85-year-old girl whose lush, shiny hair is all the way down to the center of her again, and he or she seems to be nice.) When you like your hair lengthy, preserve it that manner. Don’t permit your tactless son to be your trend arbiter. Go, Rapunzel!

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For a wonderful information to changing into a greater conversationalist and a extra sociable particular person, order “Methods to Be Well-liked.” Ship your identify and mailing deal with, plus test or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Expensive Abby, Reputation Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Delivery and dealing with are included within the value.)

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