Pricey Abby: Is my affair with a married trucker actually good for the lengthy haul?


DEAR ABBY: I’ve been in a relationship with a married man for two 1/2 years. I do know it’s flawed, however there’s simply one thing there between us. We stay 5 hours aside, however he’s a trucker, so I see him usually. He makes me all these guarantees — that if I uproot my life and transfer to his metropolis he would have the ability to be with me extra, his spouse is sick and he can’t depart her that manner, and he has by no means cherished somebody the way in which he loves me. We even have a 30-year age distinction.

I like him however I see so many purple flags. Does he actually love me, or am I simply the icing on his cake? Please give me some recommendation as a result of I’m actually misplaced. I don’t know if I’m losing my life on a person who actually can’t promise me something. — ON THE SIDE IN INDIANA

DEAR ON THE SIDE: Take note of these purple flags you’re seeing. Your final sentence says all of it. It’s possible you’ll love this man, however you might have already devoted 2 1/2 years to a relationship that’s going nowhere. I’m keen to guess that he not solely HAS cherished ladies “the way in which he loves you,” however once you begin taking good care of your self and finish this charade, he’ll proceed to like MORE ladies the way in which he loves you. Do that: Think about for a second that you simply have been his spouse — would you desire a husband who sleeps round whereas he’s on the street or while you’re unwell? However for the grace of God, this may very well be YOU!

DEAR ABBY: My grownup daughter and I had a giant argument whereas she was visiting me. Sadly, we each used phrases that have been hurtful. Afterward, I wrote her a notice telling her I cherished her and want to hear from her. She replied in an e-mail that she acquired my letter, however she remains to be damage by the issues I stated.

I wished to be the grownup on this scenario, however I used to be additionally damage by her phrases and actions, and really feel offended that I’ve to be the one to apologize. I advised her I hope that we are able to put this behind us. Should I apologize regardless that I advised her I’m sorry that she remains to be damage? — WOUNDED IN OHIO

DEAR WOUNDED: I see nothing optimistic to be gained by permitting this to fester any longer. You ARE the guardian on this scenario, so when you’d like a decision, apologize once more.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a florist. Would you please attraction to your readers who’re composing obituaries for family members to suppose first earlier than including “in lieu of flowers …”? Individuals can then donate to the designated or favourite organizations OR buy flowers. The selection can be theirs. This might be a blessing for flower growers, truckers, wholesalers and folk like me. A lot of our companies are small, multigeneration institutions. A potential suggestion for wording is, “Flowers are welcomed, and people wishing to make a donation in his/her title could achieve this to _____.” Thanks, Abby. — GRATEFUL MOM/POP FLOWER SHOP OWNER

DEAR GRATEFUL: Whereas households within the throes of grieving could overlook to incorporate it of their family members’ obituaries, as our economic system slowly recovers, your suggestion is actually value noting. Thanks for sending it.

Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For a superb information to turning into a greater conversationalist and a extra sociable particular person, order “Tips on how to Be Standard.” Ship your title and mailing tackle, plus examine or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Pricey Abby, Reputation Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Delivery and dealing with are included within the worth.)

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