Pricey Abby: Man says he loves me however isn’t interested in girls my dimension
DEAR ABBY: I not too long ago met a person, and I’ve fallen in love with him. He says he feels the identical manner and tells me typically that I deal with him higher than anyone ever has.
Sadly, when the time got here to maneuver our relationship to an intimate stage, I discovered my attraction to him was one-sided. Once I requested him why, he stated he didn’t discover me fascinating due to my weight. He additionally talked about that previously he had at all times dated “Barbie dolls” who did him unsuitable, so he determined to search for one thing completely different, and that’s when he discovered me.
I don’t perceive how one can love somebody and never need them. What are your ideas? — ONE-SIDED IN TEXAS
DEAR ONE-SIDED: This man could love your many attributes — intelligence, honesty, humorousness, and so forth. — however he’s not IN love. In order for you a romantic relationship, you’ll want to discover somebody who values you for YOURSELF — inside and outside. Give him marks for honesty and ship him again to his Barbie dolls since you deserve higher, and he deserves extra of the identical.
DEAR ABBY: Whereas I used to be battling most cancers, my husband vanished into skinny air with all our cash. It has been years now, and we lastly have been divorced, however I’ve by no means been capable of recover from what he did to me. Speaking to professionals helped some, however I nonetheless surprise what occurred.
We have been collectively for 20 years. I used to be left in a distant a part of Alaska to fend for myself once I might hardly get round after the surgical procedure and radiation remedies. It’s like he needed me useless. How can I presumably recover from what I believed was the love of my life? — CAN’T LET GO
DEAR CAN’T LET GO: Your husband could have been the love of your life, however the love of HIS life was … him. That he not solely ran when the chips have been down however cleaned out the checking account, leaving you battling a life-threatening sickness, was past the pale. Why he did it was concern, weak point and lack of character.
Having prevailed over most cancers and poverty, getting over your ex needs to be a cinch. Nonetheless, discovering the flexibility to belief once more could also be one other matter, and nobody would blame you should you couldn’t do it. An necessary step ahead may be extra counseling that will help you cope.
DEAR ABBY: My good friend has an grownup little one with a drug dependancy. Typically once we are collectively, this little one will name begging for cash. My good friend offers in each time. She feels horrible about doing it however can’t appear to say no. She has attended a number of Nar-Anon conferences, however not needs to go as a result of she says it’s miserable. As a good friend, what’s one of the simplest ways to assist her? — HER CARING FRIEND
DEAR FRIEND: Though these conferences could also be “miserable,” they may also be enlightening if somebody is open to it. Level out to your good friend that even MORE miserable could be shedding a baby to dependancy and figuring out that she was the enabler. Then volunteer to attend conferences together with your good friend till she positive factors the energy to behave responsibly.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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